Beyond a reasonable doubt

"If I'm wrong, I like to be proven wrong."

Specificity

"Not my hackles. My haunches."

Not "want to." "Have to."

"I have to write on a piece of yellow paper."

As disciplinarian

"There is no calling for food in this house ever. [pause] I'm serious."

The highest praise

"I'd blog that."

On shoes that cause bunyans

"By the time they soften up and fit, you will already have done the damage."

For when ice cream simply isn't enough

"How come there aren't coffee trucks?"